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Crafting Your Perfect Vows

Why are wedding vows so important?

My vows sucked. I am horrible at writing. I married the original live version of modern AI! When my husband and I went through our pre-marital counseling with the minister, we chatted about vows and how to give them. I remember standing up there and mine were like, “Um, I love you. Yeah.” Meanwhile, my husband’s were beautifully written, by his wonderful writing skills, and were a true declaration of letting everyone know his heartfelt love. It was a super rom-com moment, only backward!

Wedding vows are the meat and potatoes of the ceremony. They are your promises to your partner, expressing your love, commitment, and devotion. Wedding vows hold immense significance as they symbolize the foundation of your relationship and the journey you are about to embark on together. They are a beautiful way to declare your feelings and set the tone for your life as a married couple.

Personalized wedding vows

Personalized wedding vows are just that, personalized. Not re-stated from someone or somewhere else. Your special vows add a unique touch to your big day and make it even more memorable. By crafting personalized vows, you are able to share your innermost thoughts and emotions with your partner and everyone present. If the word ‘vows’ kind of rubs you the wrong way, you can call them ‘promises.’ It seems a tad bit more in-depth that way! But making them more personal allows you to express your love in your own words, making the ceremony more intimate and meaningful. Personalized vows show your partner how much they mean to you and show off your commitment to a lifetime of love and happiness. 

Think before you write

Before you start writing your wedding vows, it is important to double-check that they are heartfelt and sincere. Take some time to reflect on your relationship as a couple. Think about the qualities you love most about your partner and the promises you want to make for your future as one. You’ll also want to discuss with your partner if you both want to write your vows together or keep them a surprise until the ceremony. This will help alleviate any extra stress. Lastly, consider the tone and length of your vows. Decide whether you want them to be light-hearted or more serious, and determine if you want to keep them short and sweet or elaborate on your feelings. In the end, it’s your wedding, your vows, and it’s about you and your partner.

Adding personal stories and memories to your vows

One of the most beautiful ways to make your wedding vows unforgettable is by incorporating personal stories and memories. These moments have shaped your relationship and hold special meaning for both of you. By sharing these stories, you not only make your promises more personal but also create a deeper connection with your partner. These anecdotes, or stories, can be funny, touching, or even a combination of both. They should reflect your journey and remind you of the love you have shared.

Incorporating promises for a long-lasting marriage

Wedding vows are not just about expressing your love; they are also about making promises for a long-lasting marriage. ‘Until death do us part,’ and ‘In sickness and in health’ are two very popular add-ins for vows. These promises are the foundation upon which your relationship will grow and flourish. When writing your vows, think about the commitments you want to make to your partner. Promise to support them in their dreams and goals, to be their rock during challenging times, and to always prioritize your relationship. These promises will serve as a constant reminder of your commitment and will guide you through the ups and downs of married life. When you think of saying them in front of other people, it becomes even more of a commitment because you and your partner have more accountability.

‘Dos’ and ‘don'ts’ of writing wedding vows

When writing your wedding vows, there are a few dos and don'ts to keep in mind:


  • Do think of your partner first, then your audience second.

  • Do speak from the heart and be sincere.

  • Do keep your vows personal and unique to your relationship.

  • Do practice reading your vows aloud in front of a mirror for a smoother delivery.

  • Do consider the length and tone of your vows to ensure they match the overall atmosphere of your ceremony. 


  • Don't stress about the process, it is what it is - stay relaxed and calm.

  • Don’t use artificial intelligence or AI to write your vows. As quickly as the machines might come up with something smooth, it’s not from your heart. You’re marrying your partner, not your computer.

  • Don’t rush the process. Take your time and give careful thought to each word and sentiment. Give yourself a timer and stop when it’s done and come back later if you need to. 

  • Don't compare your vows to others. Just like your relationship with your partner is different than your buddies, so is your wedding and so are your vows. Your vows should reflect your own love story and not be influenced by others' expectations.

  • Don't be overly vague. Copying a paragraph from a card you picked up at the store won’t cut it. While poetic language is beautiful, make sure your vows clearly express your promises and commitments.


Crafting perfect wedding vows is an opportunity to express yourself, your love, commitment, and promises to your partner. By following the tips provided in this article, you can write heartfelt and authentic vows that will make your special day even more meaningful. Remember to be sincere, incorporate personal stories and memories, and make promises for a long-lasting marriage. With practice and careful delivery, your vows will be a beautiful testament to your love and the foundation of a lifetime together. So, take the time to write the perfect wedding vows and embark on your big day with confidence and love.


Work with Leece and her team at Elegant Events by Leece for a wedding experience that exceeds your dreams and expectations. Learn more about Leece's affordable in-person and virtual wedding planning packages and book a free consultation today!

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